A trial separation can be beneficial in a number of ways to you and your spouse. Before separating, it is important that you and your spouse establish some guidelines that apply during the break. To help ensure that your marriage gets the most benefit from the separation, here are some tips.
Determine What Is and Is Not Allowed
If the trial separation is designed to allow you and your spouse to take a break while working on your marriage, you need to set rules on what is and is not allowed during the period. Some aspects to cover when creating the rules include:
To avoid confusion in the future regarding the rules, write them down. As an added measure, consider signing the agreement. If anyone's conduct is called into question in the future, you can refer to the agreement.
When it comes to responsibilities that affect your finances, such as paying bills and income, it might be ideal to work with a family attorney to create an agreement. The agreement can be a legal arrangement that can be filed with the court.
A trial separation will not magically fix your marriage. If you and your spouse do not work on your marriage while separated, you could find the problems still exist when you get back together.
By working with a trained therapist, you and your spouse can work to identify problems and find solutions for them. Even if your marriage does end divorce, you and your spouse can leave the relationship knowing that you truly worked on it.
Limit Your Confidantes
Marital problems should only be discussed with a therapist and trusted confidantes. Sharing criticisms or problems with friends and family can sometimes lead to even bigger problems. To avoid this, you and your spouse should agree upon who can be trusted to share the details of your marriage.
Remember, you and your spouse are working on getting back together. It can sometimes be difficult for friends and family to not become emotionally involved in your relationship through shared details. If you and your spouse reconcile down the road, your friends and family can have a hard time with moving past their own feelings. Keeping them out of the relationship can prevent this complication.
Consult with professionals, such as a family attorney (check out the site here for more information) and therapist, to find other ways to keep your separation on track to reconciliation.
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